To See You For Real
by Chibinaoka
Summary: After Sakura captured The Illusion Card, she wishs to see her mother for real even more. Depressed about it, she sees only one way to do so, to leave this life and go up to heaven herself. And Sakura get her wish to see her mother... Please R


Disclaimers: I do not own and I did not create Cardcaptor Sakura and all related characters. They belong to CLAMP. I do own this fan fiction and any original characters that may appear in it. No copyright violations are inteaded. Please don't archive this Fan Fiction without my permision.  
  
To See You For Real  
By Chibinaoka  
  
The whistle blew to announce the end of cheerleading practice. Sakura was glad it was over. Usually she was happy to go to practice but not today. She walked over to the locker room with a sad look on her face. Naoko and Chiharu weren't to far behind her.  
"Hey Sakura are you ok?" Naoko asked.  
"Yah, you seem a little distracted today. Is there anything on your mind?" Chiharu asked in her turn. Sakura smiled and turned around to face her friends.  
"Everything's fine!" Sakura said in a happy tone.   
But she lied, everything wasn't fine. Naoko and Chiharu smiled at Sakura. Naoko softly addressed Sakura.  
"That's good. I was worried you were upset because, well you know, since today is...Your mother's birthday..." Naoko was hesitant to say her last words.  
"Its ok. Its no big deal, you can talk about it Naoko. I'm just happy knowing my mom is up there watching me." Sakura said, lying once more with a big smile on her face to hide how she truly felt.   
"Well as long as you're ok. Come on Naoko, we better get to your house to watch that horror special." Chiharu said as she headed to her locker.  
"Lets go!" Naoko said, with the same happy look she always had when the conversation turned into anything related to ghosts and mystery.   
Sakura turned the other way and looked up to the sky. Her smile faded.  
'Mother...' Sakura thought to herself as a tear rolled down her cheek. She whipped it away and when over to her locker.   
  
After a few minutes, Naoko and Chiharu were ready to leave. Sakura was changed but was still picking up her stuff.  
"Bye Sakura!" Naoko and Chiharu said at the same time as they waved to Sakura. Sakura waved back and Naoko and Chiharu were off. Sakura simply stood there till Naoko and Chiharu were out of site. She sighed a loud sigh as she turned around and closed her locker. She snapped on her roller blades and headed home. Instead of rolling cheerfully and quickly like she normally did, she rolled slowly with her head hung down. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining and a gentle breeze in the air but Sakura felt like there was a rain cloud hovering over her head. Naoko was right when she said she thought Sakura was upset because it was her mother's birthday. During her entire cheerleading practice, she kept thinking of how she captured The Illusion Card and how Illusion had shown her a picture of her mother. She was angry at Illusion for tricking her into believing her mother was really in the park. Didn't that Clow Card know how much Sakura wanted to see her mother for real? If it could pick up on what people wanted to see, couldn't it also pick up on how strongly Sakura's urge to see her mother was? These thoughts twirled in Sakura's mind as she bladed down the street. She stopped at the corner were Yukito would usually meet her and her brother in the morning. He wasn't there. She would sometimes see him other then just in the morning while she was out for a stroll but not even seeing Yukito could cheer her up now. She sighed and was on her way again.   
  
Sakura arrived at her house. She put on a smile in order to deserve her family like she had deserved her friends before opening the door.   
"I'm home!" She shouted cheerfully.   
But her cheer simply echoed threw the house. Once again Sakura's bright face faded away. She removed her roller blades and slipped on her slippers. She walked into the kitchen and noticed the note that was left on the table for Sakura. It read:   
  
Sakura,  
  
I'm at a conference and Toya is at the library.   
We'll be back for supper.  
  
Love,  
Dad and Toya  
  
Sakura picked up the note and crumpled it up into a ball in her hand. Her mom was gone forever and now her father and annoying older brother weren't there. In her moment of despaired, her family wasn't there to comfort her. Sakura thought as she threw the note in the garbage.   
  
Sakura slumped up the stairs with the same gloomy look she had bared before. She opened the door of her room and found Kero-chan sleeping on her bed. She kneeled down and poked him to wake him up. He mumbled and turned around to face Sakura.  
"Dad and Toya are gone. You can leave my room." Sakura hid her sadness from Kero-chan as she said so.  
"Alright! I'm going to go get a snack." Kero-chan said as he flew over to the door.  
'K' was all that Sakura said as Kero-chan opened the door and flew down to the kitchen, mumbling something about pudding.   
  
Sakura closed the door and fell on her bed, face up. She sighed and didn't even bother removing her uniform. She closed her eyes while her thoughts focused on her mother again and how she was up in a beautiful place in the sky. Sakura wanted to go to that place and see her mother. She wanted to see her mother for real this time and not some illusion.   
"Mother, I want to see you for real..." Sakura sobbed as tears rolled down her cheeks.  
Sakura turned over and buried her face in her pillow as she cried a river tears.  
"Mother...Nadeshiko...I lied...I'm not just happy knowing your up there watching me...I'm lonely without you...I miss you...I want to see you...Mother..." Sakura whispered to herself. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to see her mother for real and she knew of only one way to do so.   
  
Sakura sat up and whipped her away her tears. She sniffled as she went over to lock her door and then over to her droar. She opened it and pulled out a pair of scissors. She clenched the scissors in her hand as she pulled up her sleeve. She then held the sharp end of the scissors over her wrist.  
"I'm going to give you the best birthday gift of all mother. I'm going to join you and we can be in that beautiful place in the sky together." Sakura said to the selling.  
Tears started to role down Sakura's cheeks and she started to gasp for air. She hesitated for a few seconds, only a few, before bring the scissors closer to her wrist. She pushed down on her wrist with the scissors but felt like if there was a hand holding her back from really accomplishing what she wanted to do.  
"Why...Why...Why won't you cut!" Sakura shouted as she fell to her knees, broke down into tears and then began to sob quietly.  
"Sakura..." A voice softly whispered.  
It was a familiar voice yet Sakura couldn't make out who's it ways. She lifted her head up and saw a strange shimmer in front of her. Slowly the image of her mother appeared. It was her mother's angel.  
"M...Mother?" Sakura said as she stood up.  
"Yes Sakura, its me." Her mother said.  
Sakura dropped the scissors to the floor.  
"Mother? Is it really you?"   
Sakura took a step closer. Nadeshiko hovered closer to Sakura. She lifted her daughter's chin with her hand. She was real! Sakura could fell her hand on her chin! Nadeshiko smiled and tears started to fall down her checks again but this time, some of those tears were tears of joy.  
"You are real..." Sakura mumbled.  
Nadeshiko removed her hand on Sakura's chin and took her arm and pulled down her sleeve.  
"Yes my little cherry blossom, I am real and I'm here for you." Nadeshiko said with a smile.  
Sakura ran into her mother's arms.  
"Oh mom! I'm sorry!" She cried out as she buried her face in Nadeshiko's chest and began to cry harder. She couldn't believe what she tried to do. She was going to leave her family and friends and make them sad just like she was when her mom left her. Nadeshiko ran her hand threw her daughter's soft brown hair.  
"It's ok now, cry all you want." Nadeshiko softly said in Sakura's ear.  
"It's just so hard without you mom! I missed you so much and I couldn't take it anymore! I just wanted to see you for real! I just wanted to see you!" Sakura said between sobs.  
Nadeshiko lifted Sakura's face with her hand.  
"I know it's hard without me, but you have to be brave. You also have to be strong. If not for you but for your father and Toya. They need you Sakura." Nadeshiko sighed before continuing. "I don't think your father could bare to loose someone else."  
Sakura whipped away her tears that had streamed down her cheeks.  
"I'm so sorry! You're right; I shouldn't make dad or Toya sad like when you left. Or even my friends. I was selfish! Please forgive me." Sakura said while breaking into tears again.  
"I forgive you Sakura. I understand. Can you ever forgive me for leaving you?" Nadeshiko said while tears gathered in the corner of her own eyes.  
"Oh mom! Of course I can. I know you didn't have much of a choice." Sakura said as she hugged her mom once more and Nadeshiko hugged back.   
  
Nadeshiko spread her wings and Sakura's room began to fade away. Soon the two were at the foot of a cherry blossom tree. Nadeshiko was sitting down and she no longer looked like the angel she was. Instead, she was in a beautiful white dress and Sakura was dressed in the same white dress and was sitting beside her mom. Cherry blossom petals fell gracefully while Sakura told her mom about everything. How she found the Clow Book, about little Kero-chan. She described, while blushing, the battle costumes Tomoyo made for each of her captures and how Syaoran had been helping her capture the Clow Cards. Nadeshiko smiled and said she knew all about it because she was always watching over Sakura but that she preferred hearing all of it threw Sakura. Afterwards, Sakura rested her head on Nadeshiko's lap and closed her eyes.   
"I love you mom." Sakura whispered.  
"I love you too, Sakura. " Nadeshiko whispered back.  
The two treasured this moment of serenity they had together and time had seemed to stop just for them. Then, everything begun to fade away.  
  
Sakura opened her eyes and found herself lying on her side on top of her bed and she was back in her uniform. She stood up.  
'Was it all just a dream?' Sakura wondered.  
She then noticed the pair of scissors on the floor. A few cherry blossom petals were scattered around it. A single feather fell on top of the scissors.  
'It wasn't a dream! It was real!'   
"I really did see you mom!"   
Sakura smiled. She picked up the feather and placed it on her bed. Then she picked up the scissors and put them away. After that, she carefully picked up each cherry blossom petal and placed them beside the doll of herself Tomoyo had made. Putting the feather on top of the pile of cherry blossoms, Sakura smiled.  
"Thank you mom. For everything." Sakura said while smiling at the pile of cherry blossom petals and the single feather.  
  
The End 


End file.
